The Gods On Fan Fiction
by Disney101
Summary: The Gods are now on Fan Fiction what do they think? Find out! REVIEW! POSEIDON WANTS REVIEWS!
1. Chapter 1

One day Poseidon was extremely bored, so he got a high tech computer and on the computer he got a fan-fiction account. Being an awesome God and all, he published a long biography about his life. No one reviewed telling him he was awesome so he got very angry; that is why we had Hurricane Katerina. Then he was even more angry, because people said he sucked at writing and was full of himself, he decided to publish what you are reading right now. Using his almighty horribly wicked Godly powers he decided that anyone who didn't review this story would be eaten by SHAMU like that one lady was in Sea World. (Or some other sea creature) ... so he recommends you review unless you want your pet goldfish to eat you! Remember you have to go to Sea World at some point ... and Shamu is waiting for you!

Signed,

~Poseidon~

Who wants reviews.

Satisfied, Poseidon got off his computer and walked off to go chat with Zeus on Aim.

**Okay so heres how it goes. Flamers/Veritas I have a request for format. Please put your sentences in this order:**

**Constructive Criticism**

**The requests for deletion**

**Anything else you have to put. (Insults go here)**

**It just keeps everything organized! I know it's not that funny but sometimes randomness can put a smile on your face.**

**Constructive Criticism people just do your thing same for the others..**


	2. Chapter 2

Roses are dead

Violets are poo

I would like to introduce Hades to you!

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Hades was busy one day reciting his rules that he wanted to complete every day.

1) Everytime you can make someone's days a little worse, most definately do.

2) You must always blame it on someone else.

3) It's always fun to laugh at people who fall and are in pain.

That's when he got an email from Poseidon. The very annoyed Hades opened up his iphone to check the email; it read:

Dear Brother,

I recently got a fanfiction account and I am enjoying all the attention I am getting. Fanfiction is so fun!

P.S. People say I'm cooler then you!

From,

Poseidon A.K.A. the cooler person.

Hades began to shake with anger when he read this horrible email. How dare the people of fanfiction think that he is less cool then a mermaid! He would show them that he, Lord of the Dead was much more cooler then his brother, King of the Idiot Fishies. There was only one thing to do...

Hades posted this chapter and hopes that you all enjoy it, and says that if you don't enjoy it then... he hopes you enjoy burning in the pits of Tatarus because he won't let you go anywhere else when you die.

Instead of stooping down to the lowly level of Poseidon who threatened people Hades decided to show people that he was awesome too through this advirtisment:

"Hi my name is Nico de Angelo. My father is the great Lord of the Dead Hades. Why should you people be afraid of drowning if you won't die? My father has recently come up with a life insurence plan that no one can beat. It's called the D.E.A.T.H. insurence which if you take a few letters out, add a few in, take away some more, permanently take one letter away, and mix it all up then put it all back together it makes L.I.F.E! Let me give you and example of this insurence at work:

Your name is A Rodrigez; you were just caught taking steriods and are on a boat. Suddenly waves begin to rise and you capsize. Poseidon is a big New York Yankees fan and is very angry at you. He wants you to drown.... then just as your about to die you pull out your D.E.A.T.H. card and BAM your saved by the almighty Lord of the Dead Hades. You are saved all thanks to your handy dandy D.E.A.T.H. card.

As you can see having this card is very useful, joining Team Hades is much better then joining any other wacky team like team Jacob. Can Jacob save you from a terrible death? No. Not only can you get D.E.A.T.H., he is also renting out hellhounds to anyone who joins him. Hellhounds can deal with all your enemy problems. How do you think we have won wars? With Hell Hounds! Finally after much plea from people we now offer cookies! Thats right folks cookies are now offered! Join now so you could get cookies fresh from the oven! Now think for a minute, do you really want to be reviewing for a mean guy like Poseidon (who can only give you smelly fish...) or do you want to review for a guy like Hades who can help you with your problems." Nico smiles as he shows his TEAM HADES t-shirt an in the background are these pictures of people who are on team Hades enjoying everything. Someone using a Hell Hound on their enemies. Then there is Poseidon cackling evily as he dumps rotten fish on you. Finally Hades sitting in a chair with a cup of tea,

"Hi. Hades here and I approve this message. Come on over to Team Hades and together we can destroy all problems!" *Dark screen*

The commercial voice then came on and said, "If you join Team Hades and feel the supressed urge to blurt at Hades that he is ugly then Team Hades may not be right for you. Doing this can cause fatal to eternity damage. You may not join Team Hades if you are a son of Poseidon. If you don't enjoy being on Team Hades then you are screwed. Team Hades is a for life Team, try to leave and it could be fatal. Call 1800-FAN CLUB FOR HADES in order to join today, or you can just press the little green button down at the bottom of the screan. This button enables you to put your thoughts or just join Hades today. Remember don't join today and you'll pay! To show that Hades is totally awesome he requestst that you review. Also he has decided that adding him to alerts will prove your loyalty to team Hades!"

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**Beta: fRANkiEGirL61**  
**Hi everyone I hope you guys enjoyed reading this. It has recently come to my attention that people think that I don't really respect things like Hurricane Katrina disaters. Well I do, however when I walk outside my house all I hear is bad thing after another. So I try to lighten up the mood with this type of stuff notice I say 'try' if it doesn't work then hey what can I do, but I hate all this sadness and was taught that laughter is the best thing. Sure I make fun of events a little but I don't go out right and act like a emotionless **. I know the bad stuff and all but I just wanted people to laugh. Sorry people for interupting just thought I should put it out there.**


	3. Chapter 3

Have you ever heard the tale of Zues and tacos. Well lets just say that Zeus/tacos don't mix, well at least they don't anymore. If you want to know why just read on:

There once was a taco company called _Tacos in the Sky. _The reason you have never heard of the company is simple, the tacos sucked and only were on sale for exactly 2 months and a half. The reasons that the tacos sucked was never really found out. They were like all other tacos that were sold at supermarkets, they had the false beef and all that stuff that's bad for you.

Every thing that is sold has something that represents it, like a stack of money with googly eyes or a scary weird red-headed clown. Tacos in the Sky had a cartoon of Zeus wearing a sombrero eating a taco happily on it. In their commercials he was angry about some problem and then their tacos would cheer him up. Their slogan 'Yummy Tacos in the Sky, led by the God Zues, the Taco guy!'

These tacos looked sooooooooo good on commercial, one day a son of Zues brought some to dinner and sacrificed it as an offering to Zeus. He paryed that he would like the tacos mentioning that they sounded really good and that the avatar for the company was him. Zeus had of course heard the prayer and went to go 'eat' the offering that had just been sent up to him.

All the gods knew how much Zeus had loved tacos at the time. Apollo had been sacrificed some tacos before and all the gods had gotten a taste. Every single one of them was hooked, especially Zeus. The other gods had gone through the faze and it had soon ended, but not for Zues. He had gone out and had Hermes get him a sombrero because he loved tacos so much. On his face book page he was considered one of the biggest fans of tacos in the history of face book taco lovers. He granted anyone who gave him good tacos with good passage through the skies and what not.

When Zeus reached his pile of offerings, he was smiling. Trying not to betray his kid-ish excitement to eat the tacos, but the gods weren't fooled. Appolo even went so far as to tease him about it.

"Say Zeus I got a poem for you and tacos.

_ Zeus is a big taco fan_

_ He would zap down any man_

_ Who wasn't even close to a fan_

_ For Zeus is the biggest taco fan_

_ Which makes us all say 'oh man'_

_ Sadly we cannot put tacos to ban_

_ For Zeus loves tacos, what a fan"_

Apollo chuckled at his little poem. The gods all nodded with agreement, they all looked to Zeus to see his reaction.

He however was on the ground twitching, a half eaten taco lay in his hand. His eyes were bulged wide and his face purple. "Tacos suck.... They must be burned... Must cut out my tongue..." It continued like this, the gods all looked at him open mouthed. Was it possible to poison gods with a mere taco?!

Apollo rushed to his side, bottles appearing at his side. Then suddenly they all merged into one bottle, he mouthed the words 'I'm sorry' to Zeus and then shoved the contents in the bottle down Zues's throat. Zeus let out some noise that sounded like

"WH TH HE-K, THI STUFE TISTS LICK SOM POPZ ZAT CAM HOM A HOBA! GAT IT OWET OF MA THOAT!" translation: "WHAT THE HECK, THIS STUFF TASTES LIKE SOME POOP THAT CAME FROM A HOBO! GET IT OUT OF MY THROAT!"

Zeus flailed his hands and he tried to slap Apollo who was smart enough not to stay within Zues's reach. Athena put down her book in hand and walked over to Zeus. He didn't seem to notice her, until SMACK! Her hand had smacked him so quickly he stopped flailing. At that moment Apollo decided to grab the bottle wedged in Zeus's mouth. The duo backed away slowly. Both looked at each other nervously, this was the god of all gods he was a potentially a dangerous foe.

"Gee I would love to stay but it looks like it's time for the sun to rise, gtg people. That's the new way to communicate, my dear fellows gtg means got to go." Apollo laughed nervously, texting had just been introduced to the gods through Hermes. Just before he could make a quick get away, Zeus grabbed him.

"I hope you know what URD means Apollo." He growled furiously, Apollo thought for a moment. Then in his free hand a t-shirt popped up. There was a picture on it, and it was titled the Periodic Table of Texting. Apollo quickly skimmed and looked back at Zeus apologetically.

"Sorry Zeus, but that isn't on the newest version of the Periodic Table of Texting, seems to me that your URD thing isn't really a new word of communication."Apollo said, looking at Zeus apologetically again. Artemis, who had just came in to give a report face palmed herself out of embarassment for her brother. Just then Hades popped in.

"ZEUS HOW DARE YOU SEND ME ALL THOSE PEOPLE THROUGH THAT ANGRY STORM OF YOURS! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY I HAVE TO PAY MY EMPLOYEES FOR THIS OVERTIME AND WHAT NOT! YOU THINK THE ECONOMY IS BAD THEN TAKE A LOOK AT MY ECONOMY DOWN THERE. EVERYTIME YOU HAVE A SMALL TEMPERTANTRUM MY MONEY SEEMS TO HAVE TO GO INTO PAYING MY EMPLOYEES. THEY ARE ALL GREEDY YOU KNOW! THIS IS A BUNCH OF BS I TELL YOU, BS. SECOND TIME THIS MONTH THAT YOU HAVE THROWN A TANTRUM. BS!" Hades looked overly angry and his eyes were narrowed murderously at Zeus. Zeus just looked startled at Hades appearence, he then just shook his head.

"My apologies brother, but you know you aren't welcome here at the moment. Only on two days are you welcomed here. Calm your tone, or we will have a problem. As you can see I also have a predicament at the moment. Apollo here, stuffed a bottle of who knows what down my throat." Zeus said angrily,Hades eyes darted over to Apollo then to the texting shirt. Quickly he put two and two together.

"Dear Apollo I hope you know that ever so foolish human term, R.I.P. because that's what I'm wishing you. Rest In Peace Apollo, I will definetely not come to your funeral." Hades said, a small smirk on face. He then turned to face Zeus, "I shall await a visit from you in my own realm. Do not keep me waiting for too long." With a flash he was gone, Zeus turned back to Apollo.

"I'll give you moments to explain yourself." He growled at Apollo again.

"Well, you know that I got rid of the taste fully. You can't even remember it can you?" Apollo replied, looking around nervously. Zeus opened him mouth and closed it as if trying to remember the taste. He couldn't, all he could remember is that it was some horrible thing. What was going on?

"Zeus, he has to raise the Sun you know..." Athena put in, "The humans will realize somethings up sooner or later." Zeus gave no ackowledge meant back to her, he just stood there looking at Apollo.

"Go out and raise the damn Sun, don't you ever stick crap down my throat again." Zeus growled at Apollo, who gulped and nodded. Soon Apollo was gone. Almost immediately after that Zeus glared at Athena. "Get me a lawyer."

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*_Sad Commercial music plays*_

Hello my name is Athena (real Athena), here at S.M.I.L.E. law firm we always help our clients get what they want. S.M.I.L.E. stands for Smite My Ill Looking Enemies. We care deeply about preforming justice in the best of ways, all of our employee's have been known to win the most hardest arguments known to mankind. Observe, a little girl argues with her mother. Mothers are some of the hardest people to argue with, no matter what they somehow have the upper-hand. Not many people have ever won an argument with their mother, raise your hand if you did. See not that many.

_Little girl and Mom are shopping in supermarket. _

_"Mommy can I get all these candy bars" She asks in innocent voice, while she holds two handfuls of chocolate bars._

_"No you cannot have any candy bars." The mother answers strictly._

_"Why not."_

_"Because I said so, and I'm the adult. Besides I'm paying for it not you."_

_"Well I want it."_

_"You can't have it dear, now let's go." Mother grabs her daughter's hand and moves toward the check out line. The little girl wriggles out of her mother's grasp._

_"I'm not going anywhere with you, I hate you. Your worse then fat guy who wears red. He only gives presents to the kids he likes, if he thinks they have been 'good'. We all know that it comes down to whether or not we leave out cookies and milk for his fat appetite. All the kids that don't, get coal." The little girl runs off, while her mother screams after her. She hides in a corner while her mother runs after her, she then approaches an old man. "Mr. can I borrow your cellphone?" She asked, putting on her best angelic face. _

_"Sweetie, why don't you go back to your mother now. Why would you need a cellphone?" The old man asks, looking at her smiling._

_"If you don't give me your cellphone right now, I'll scream at the top of my lungs and my mommy will come hit you with her purse for harassing me." The girl says evilly, the old man gulps and gives up the phone. She dials a number. _

_"Hello, this is S.M.I.L.E. here. How may I help you?" Answers a sweet voice, the Little girl smiles._

_"Hi, Ms. S.M.I.L.E. I need some help. My Mommy won't buy me cookies."_

_"I'll send someone right over."_

_~Click~_

_Suddenly a lady is there, and she is forcing the Mother to buy cookies. *Turns and smiles at camera*_

_"Do you need an argument won? Call S.M.I.L.E. today at 1800-566-9854!"_

_*End of commercial*_

Zeus clapped his hands, when Athena showed him her most recent company she had created. S.M.I.L.E. Inc. was a booming buisness at the moment. Athena swore on her companies name that she could make sure that Tacos in the Sky would never operate again.

"Will it be like Judge Judy's show that I watch when I'm bored?" Zeus asked excitedly.

"Pretty much, now I have some work to do. I will be personally representing you." Athena got up from her spot next to him on the T.V. couch and walked away. Leaving Zeus to contemplate what the heck he would wear for a human trial.

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**_Part 1 finished! I hope you enjoyed, thanks to my brother and fRANkiEGirl61 for helping me. Check out the PJO contest fRANkiEGirl61 and I are hosting please. R&R_**


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